Bittersweet....

After 11 months in our family, today our foster daughter leaves after school to live with her extended family.  The past week has been full of 'lasts'.  If I'm honest, I've been doing pretty well emotionally...not that I haven't had breakdowns, but not as much as I anticipated when we first began as foster parents.  Truth be told, I'm excited for her to be able to live with family because she wants this and loves them very much.  She will still be in town and she's already planning different times with our family and with Alayna...yet, she will no longer be 'my' daughter...that's hard.  She's called us 'mom' and 'dad' for the past 11 months and that will most likely end.  When she comes to our home in the future she will come as a 'guest' not as our 'daughter'.  It's hard to wrap my mind around how to transition from feeling responsible to love her and teach her...to trusting someone else to do that.  It's reminded me how, with all my kids I have to hold them with open hands.  The Lord has blessed me with each of them to love and teach them, but ultimately, He is in control of each of their lives.

I've tried not to make it an emotional last couple days because ultimately I don't think that's helpful for her.  If it's super emotional it seems like more of a 'good-bye' rather than 'see you later'.  However, last night as we tucked her in and prayed with her, she hugged me tighter and held on for longer and I couldn't help the tears from pooling in my eyes.  She asked me to lay with her and so I did and in the darkness the tears just rolled down my face.  This little girl has stretched our family, challenged my patience, pushed each of our buttons...and yet, she's also been open to learning, ready to love, blended into our family so well that early on people had no idea she had just joined our family.  

When I think of all she's been through and how that story is still continuing my heart aches.  She truly is a special little girl who desperately wants to belong and be loved.  I pray that she found that in our family for a season, but ultimately, I pray that she continues to learn and believe that the only place any of us can belong and be loved is through knowing Jesus Christ.

Jonathan Park

These 2 love listening to Jonathan Park cd's.  They have listened to all of them that we have and yet love listening to them over and over again.  This morning they woke up to continue listening to the one they started last night.

If you have kids around this age... check them out, your kids will love them!

Follow the trail

This morning Seth told me to follow the trail of toys to the treasure.  I admit, it took me a bit to figure out where the trail began because I was upstairs and the trail didn't start there, but once I found it, it was easy to follow. :-)

At the end of the trail I found a note and the note had copied words he'd written, his name and love mom.

Preschool is done...

Today Seth had his preschool program and I have to admit, I was nervous.  Would he be the goofy kid on stage?? Would he not want to do anything??  Well, he did GREAT!!  He knew all the songs, the actions, his part in the play and he did all the letter sounds plus the actions to go with it.  He was a pro!!  

It's hard for me to believe that my BABY is done with preschool, but I'm thankful for all that he learned this year and the ways we've seen him grow in his interactions with friends.  

Way to go Setharoo!!  Now it's time to enjoy the summer!!

House Projects

We've been working on a few house projects lately.  I found some easy (ok, easier) to install back splash at Sam's Club (of all places) and I like how it turned out.  It took more time that we initially thought it would, but in reality, that's how almost all house projects go so we weren't surprised. :)

 He's super handy to have around!!!

Next up, a bathroom in the basement.  We've wanted to do this for a long time and this year we decided it was time.  Our basement is used regularly by our kids, neighbor kids, Missional Community kids/friends and when our parents stay they usually sleep in the bed downstairs.  Not having a bathroom down there is doable, but we wanted to make our home a bit more pleasant for guests to hang out and to stay over.  The Holder Hotel will be open for business soon, so plan ahead and make your reservations!! :)

We still need to tape and texture, paint, lay down the flooring, install the plumbing and electrical and then we will be open for business!!

A teacher in the making?

She would make a TERRIFIC preschool teacher!  Listening to her teach Seth different things she has a lot of patience, she's a great encourager and rarely gets frustrated with him when she's teaching him.  I think I could learn from watching her!!

The Mohawk

Seth was in need of a hair cut and when Dan went to cut his hair he requested a mohawk.  Dad obliged and this is the result.  I seriously love his face in the second picture...it's such a 'Seth' look.  He's gotten quite a bit of attention from this hair do!